Comments on: Chemistry http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/ The personal blog of Derek Snyder, a confused east coaster on the west coast Mon, 19 Mar 2012 04:50:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Rebecca McAfee http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-100 Rebecca McAfee Tue, 16 Feb 2010 23:23:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-100 Interesting post. Especially from where I am coming from. I don't think people in Seattle are on the hunt....I think most of them are afraid and hiding in their lives. Myself included (at times). I think its incredibly hard to connect with people and not feel vunerable, which unfortunately is considered a weakness. Being vunerable is the only way true relationships (romantic or otherwise) develop over time.I was married for 16 years until 6 months ago. I don't expect that the next person (or 2nd, 3rd or 4th) that I date will be "the one". But who knows. Stranger things have happened. And the only way that you can find out is to try. But how you meet those people is a mystery to me and part of the journey; being open to all possibilites is what I hope to do. Thanks for your post Derek. Interesting post. Especially from where I am coming from. I don't think people in Seattle are on the hunt….I think most of them are afraid and hiding in their lives. Myself included (at times). I think its incredibly hard to connect with people and not feel vunerable, which unfortunately is considered a weakness. Being vunerable is the only way true relationships (romantic or otherwise) develop over time.I was married for 16 years until 6 months ago. I don't expect that the next person (or 2nd, 3rd or 4th) that I date will be "the one". But who knows. Stranger things have happened. And the only way that you can find out is to try. But how you meet those people is a mystery to me and part of the journey; being open to all possibilites is what I hope to do. Thanks for your post Derek.

]]> By: Derek http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-101 Derek Tue, 16 Feb 2010 08:10:07 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-101 Angel - absolutely, feel free. I checked out your site and it looks really interesting. Do you do 1:1 matching using real people instead of algorithms? Angel – absolutely, feel free. I checked out your site and it looks really interesting. Do you do 1:1 matching using real people instead of algorithms?

]]> By: Karissa Meador http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-103 Karissa Meador Tue, 16 Feb 2010 07:45:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-103 Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating...mainly, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do...it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you...cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people. Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating…mainly, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do…it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you…cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people.

]]> By: Derek Snyder http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-102 Derek Snyder Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:05:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-102 Wow, I'm honored to have stimulated such an engaging discussion. Seriously folks - there is some insight here.Rachel - Ugh, my heart really does go out to you, truly. I hope that your experience was the exception and not the rule. At any rate you've got it going on and you shouldn't be shy about holding the line for everything you want in a man next time around.Karissa - Didn't you once tell me you had the knack for spotting people who are compatible? Want to go splitsies on a new company where you just make all the matches for people?James - I need to get to a coffee shop and start drafting a business model ASAP. Time is wasting and I need to find the perfect domain name. Perhaps www.theresnoshameincrymaxing.com?Lisa - Wow, I had no idea that's what you went though. I'm so glad you are in a good place now and I'm sure whatever happens you'll land with the right guy. You've always been such a phenomenal person, it's only a matter of time.Rebecca - I've never told you this but I'm so impressed by your resolve. Honestly, I don't know where you get your strength from, but I admire it and want to emulate it. Wow, I'm honored to have stimulated such an engaging discussion. Seriously folks – there is some insight here.Rachel – Ugh, my heart really does go out to you, truly. I hope that your experience was the exception and not the rule. At any rate you've got it going on and you shouldn't be shy about holding the line for everything you want in a man next time around.Karissa – Didn't you once tell me you had the knack for spotting people who are compatible? Want to go splitsies on a new company where you just make all the matches for people?James – I need to get to a coffee shop and start drafting a business model ASAP. Time is wasting and I need to find the perfect domain name. Perhaps http://www.theresnoshameincrymaxing.com?Lisa – Wow, I had no idea that's what you went though. I'm so glad you are in a good place now and I'm sure whatever happens you'll land with the right guy. You've always been such a phenomenal person, it's only a matter of time.Rebecca – I've never told you this but I'm so impressed by your resolve. Honestly, I don't know where you get your strength from, but I admire it and want to emulate it.

]]> By: Karissa Meador http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-820 Karissa Meador Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-820 Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating...mainly, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do...it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you...cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people. Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating…mainly, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do…it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you…cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people.

]]> By: Derek Snyder http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-1016 Derek Snyder Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-1016 Wow, I'm honored to have stimulated such an engaging discussion. Seriously folks - there is some insight here.Rachel - Ugh, my heart really does go out to you, truly. I hope that your experience was the exception and not the rule. At any rate you've got it going on and you shouldn't be shy about holding the line for everything you want in a man next time around.Karissa - Didn't you once tell me you had the knack for spotting people who are compatible? Want to go splitsies on a new company where you just make all the matches for people?James - I need to get to a coffee shop and start drafting a business model ASAP. Time is wasting and I need to find the perfect domain name. Perhaps www.theresnosha​meincrymaxing.c​om?Lisa - Wow, I had no idea that's what you went though. I'm so glad you are in a good place now and I'm sure whatever happens you'll land with the right guy. You've always been such a phenomenal person, it's only a matter of time.Rebecca - I've never told you this but I'm so impressed by your resolve. Honestly, I don't know where you get your strength from, but I admire it and want to emulate it. Wow, I'm honored to have stimulated such an engaging discussion. Seriously folks – there is some insight here.Rachel – Ugh, my heart really does go out to you, truly. I hope that your experience was the exception and not the rule. At any rate you've got it going on and you shouldn't be shy about holding the line for everything you want in a man next time around.Karissa – Didn't you once tell me you had the knack for spotting people who are compatible? Want to go splitsies on a new company where you just make all the matches for people?James – I need to get to a coffee shop and start drafting a business model ASAP. Time is wasting and I need to find the perfect domain name. Perhaps http://www.theresnosha​meincrymaxing.c​om?Lisa – Wow, I had no idea that's what you went though. I'm so glad you are in a good place now and I'm sure whatever happens you'll land with the right guy. You've always been such a phenomenal person, it's only a matter of time.Rebecca – I've never told you this but I'm so impressed by your resolve. Honestly, I don't know where you get your strength from, but I admire it and want to emulate it.

]]> By: Karissa Meador http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-1017 Karissa Meador Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-1017 Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating...mainly​, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics​ that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do...it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you...cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people. Honestly, I have a whole theory on dating…mainly​, what you think you want and what you need for the long run can be two very different things. There are some characteristics​ that should be absolutely non-negotiable in my opinion, but we definitely put too much emphasis on the aesthetic. I love the book called Why you think, work, act and love the way you do…it is an amazing book. My brother, that just moved here, is in the same position as you…cool guy, great heart, loves Jesus but just needs to be in the right place, right time? Noel and I should have you over to chilax sometime and we can philosophize ;-) We are still wanting to host a game night with a bunch of people.

]]> By: Angel Cruzado http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-96 Angel Cruzado Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:06:44 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-96 Hey Derek, nice blog post, can I post on my blog at www.GuysAndGirlsNextDoor.com/blog Clearly, I started a matchmaking and dating company to address this problem. I think that is important to share that if you are seeking a committed relationship, that not only you keep your eyes open as Karissa mentioned, but it is also important that they make themselves available everyday to expanding their social network. Hey Derek, nice blog post, can I post on my blog at http://www.GuysAndGirlsNextDoor.com/blog

Clearly, I started a matchmaking and dating company to address this problem.

I think that is important to share that if you are seeking a committed relationship, that not only you keep your eyes open as Karissa mentioned, but it is also important that they make themselves available everyday to expanding their social network.

]]> By: Jack Chung http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-99 Jack Chung Mon, 15 Feb 2010 12:43:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-99 I tend to think that dating, whether online or offline, tends to just depend on where people are in life. Before online dating, there was pen pals, newspaper personals and other matchmaking services. People have fallen in love via letters, and emails / IM online are about the same thing.Sometimes, these letters can promote attraction that may not have come initially. A mutual interest of some sort that is not immediately apparent, or just a gradual friendship that blooms. Conversely, an immediate attraction could cool down later as well, as differences become more apparent.So, there are upsides and downsides to each method of dating. But, in the end, I would say that it doesn't matter where you meet that special someone. When you have met that love of your life, does it matter where you met that person? I tend to think that dating, whether online or offline, tends to just depend on where people are in life. Before online dating, there was pen pals, newspaper personals and other matchmaking services. People have fallen in love via letters, and emails / IM online are about the same thing.Sometimes, these letters can promote attraction that may not have come initially. A mutual interest of some sort that is not immediately apparent, or just a gradual friendship that blooms. Conversely, an immediate attraction could cool down later as well, as differences become more apparent.So, there are upsides and downsides to each method of dating. But, in the end, I would say that it doesn't matter where you meet that special someone. When you have met that love of your life, does it matter where you met that person?

]]> By: Lisa Muscato http://sleepyinseattle.com/2010/02/15/chemistry/comment-page-1/#comment-98 Lisa Muscato Mon, 15 Feb 2010 12:03:00 +0000 http://sleepyinseattle.com/?p=75#comment-98 Derek - I always appreciate your carefully crafted articulations - even of the heart. I recently had an experience like this - and your post captured it so accurately. I "met" a guy through a friend via the phone, but with us being on opposite coasts, it had the same likes of online dating. Texts (like thousands!) and emails and calls. I was SURE there was chemistry. And then we planned to meet - then things got awkward and the withdrawing happened - but we met anyways - and it did not click. The intense chemistry - or whatever I felt - on the phone did not join us on our date. The biggest question I have is that, if we had met in person first, would it have been different? Did meeting the way we did take away from the ability to have natural chemistry? Ill never know. I do know I spent a few months and a lot of money on a date that was a total flop. C' la vie. So - I echo your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them :) Derek – I always appreciate your carefully crafted articulations – even of the heart. I recently had an experience like this – and your post captured it so accurately. I "met" a guy through a friend via the phone, but with us being on opposite coasts, it had the same likes of online dating. Texts (like thousands!) and emails and calls. I was SURE there was chemistry. And then we planned to meet – then things got awkward and the withdrawing happened – but we met anyways – and it did not click. The intense chemistry – or whatever I felt – on the phone did not join us on our date. The biggest question I have is that, if we had met in person first, would it have been different? Did meeting the way we did take away from the ability to have natural chemistry? Ill never know. I do know I spent a few months and a lot of money on a date that was a total flop. C' la vie. So – I echo your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them :)

]]>